True, Loyal and Free (revised).

I stayed true and loyal to my biological parents and their Own choices respecting whatever they chose to do whilst ignoring the negative comments about their marriage I’ve had all my life by people who were never there during my parents marriage….2nd hand opinions.

The human being in me needed to know which human beings I came from. I needed to know them. And I did by my choices.

I treat them as equals. They both made their own decisions. Hina was mine. I live with the consequences.. and live to meet my future karma head on..1 step at a time. They both know my independent spirit and know my hardworking character. I’m a chip of their blocks 😉

I helped raise my half Brothers for a while then was gone from their lives..(not their fault)..I was just much older mentally and physically. They are now good and successful men in their own right.

I also know all my many close Cousins since birth and have followed all Thier lives also as they have followed mine.

We’ve all been at the same weddings, funerals and Asian social events and shared laughter and tears for over forty years.

I make my own choices as became older since age 8.. I was never mentally part of anyone’s elses family and friends and grew distant with families yet close to compassionate people throughout my adult life. On the outside I seemed tough.. on the inside I needed nurture..

The people who helped me through mine are ones who had a compassionate nature. Hina had an auto immune disease and had a low immune system later in our marriage. Our Compassion made us friends first.

I now avoid hatred, bigotry and dogma like the plague. People in our Asian society judged her illness often as being deserved or karmic that is willed by God. So I stay away from these types of societies opinions.

I understand that everyone cannot always please each another.. I live and let live..

I don’t judge I’m human I don’t know everything.. I’m not God and don’t want to be.

I chose, and by nature am independent and a free spirit, ..a Gen X Asian/Indian that was born in England and grew in the Usa.

I’m a mix of cultures East and West.

My marriage to Hina was opposed by families.. We had to convince everyone we were right for each another. Both of us were more western than eastern. It was our choice to be together. It defined our characters that grew from the relationship.

I still live with my character and her influence on it. Anyone who knew her would recognise her traits that exist in me now. People live on after death through their influence on the people around them.

My family knows I tried to date and marry after her but moving forward after I cremated Hina was difficult due to the nature of her illness and eventual passing. Grief is unique to the individual person. My grief is still alive. From September to December it’s difficult as she was in a coma and I was by her side most nights. Watching her deteriorate and reading the Bible and talking with her for hours about my day. We celebrated her 29th birthday then let her go soon after. I signed her hospital papers and allowed her to pass away.

Her family are the best family Hina could have ever have had. They were very supportive of her illness.

The world knows I made my own eclectic group of friends and acquaintances that range from alcoholics, addicts, professional Ceo’s to an old lady in Tulsa who had commited armed robbery and who worked as a housekeeper. Good people who needed and showed compassion. I never hid my true friends from my family. I went to many concerts and most of my friends are also musicians and artists whilst working full time. My friends come from all walks of life and culture.

I look for the Humanity in person not thier position in life.

My families have seen the tip of the ice berg and don’t have to know everything, as all human beings live their own lives and peoples right to privacy is as important as the truth.

My closest friends have been broken people who in me also saw a broken person they could try to heal. I love them all and would not be alive without them. Hina’s passing altered the course of my life and took me down dark emotions.

I’ve always seen Time as a Healer..

Ive learned that

Giving Love can be showing strength to inspire others even when we are crumbling inside.

Accepting Love is having the humble grace to ask for help when we need it the most…

God Bless my many Kind Parents, Families and Kind Friends for showing me the way to be true, loyal and free.

Thanks for reading Kind stranger..

Have a Blessed day world.

Author: john3005

I'm a widower.. a son.. a support worker with end of life patients.. and a heath n social care student

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